Maine & NH Wedding Photographer // Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway? (Hint: YOURS.)

Ah, weddings—the one event in life where everyone suddenly thinks they’re a professional event planner. From the moment you announce your engagement, the unsolicited advice starts rolling in.

- “You have to invite your great-aunt’s neighbor’s cousin. It’s just proper.”

- “You can’t do a first look! It’s bad luck!”

- “You’re not doing a bouquet toss? But how will all the single ladies fight over something completely meaningless?!”

Here’s the thing: it’s your wedding. Not your mom’s. Not your grandma’s. Not your second cousin twice removed who you haven’t seen since 2004. YOURS. So let’s talk about why you should unapologetically plan your day your way—and how to shut down the nonsense without causing a full-blown family feud.

1. Outdated Traditions? Ditch ‘Em.

Wedding traditions are fun… if they actually mean something to you. But some of them? They’re just outdated.

- Hate the idea of your dad “giving you away”? Then don’t do it. Walk yourself down the aisle, walk with your partner, or have your dog escort you (I fully support this).

- Think the garter toss is awkward and weird? Same. Skip it. No one will miss watching your partner blindly dive under your dress like a raccoon searching for food.

- Not into the whole “wear white” thing? Then don’t. Wear black, red, gold, or a full sequined jumpsuit if that’s your vibe.

The point? Do what makes you happy. Traditions are optional, not mandatory.

2. The Guest List Is NOT a Democracy

One of the fastest ways to drain the joy out of wedding planning is letting other people decide your guest list. If your parents are helping pay, they might feel entitled to add their own guests, but there’s a difference between a couple of extra family friends and your entire extended bloodline.

It’s simple: If someone makes you uncomfortable, causes unnecessary drama, or you haven’t spoken to them since childhood, they don’t need to be there. End of story.

3. “But That’s How It’s Always Been Done!” Is Not a Reason

This one is my favorite because… who cares? “Because that’s how it’s always been done” is the worst argument ever. We used to ride horses to work—doesn’t mean we still do it.

- Don’t want a big wedding party? Have none.

- Want to eat pizza instead of filet mignon? Go for it.

- Want to elope on a mountain with just your partner and a photographer? Do it!

It’s YOUR day, and you don’t need to justify your choices to anyone.

4. You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation

Here’s a magic phrase that will save you endless stress: “That’s just not what we’re doing.”

You don’t have to argue. You don’t have to give a 10-minute speech about why you’re skipping the garter toss or not inviting your weird uncle.

5. Less Stress, More You

At the end of the day, the best weddings are the ones that feel like you. The ones where couples throw out the stress and focus on what actually matters—getting married to the love of their life.

Your wedding should reflect your personalities, your relationship, and your vision. The best part? The people who truly love and support you will be on board no matter what.

So, go ahead—ditch the stuffy traditions, cut the guest list, and design a day that feels right for you. Less stress, more you. That’s how it should be.