Cornish, Maine Wedding Photographer // How My Opinion Of Some Wedding Traditions Have Changed Over The Years

A million years ago when I first started shooting weddings, I felt very strongly about some emerging and some old wedding traditions. As the years have gone by and as the world has changed my opinions have changed and matured along with me.That being said, not all traditions are one size fits all and some couples do what they want because it just works better for them and, lets be real, its their day and they cn do whatever the fuck they want.

First off is the First Look. I disliked them for a few reasons. The harsh noon time lighting was terrible and I always felt that my first look pictures kinda, well, sucked. I also felt that it took away from the “wow” factor at the end of the aisle during the ceremony. Yes, we got all of the family formals done before the wedding even really started but, to me, it wasn’t worth the pay off. Fast forward to over the past few years. I’ve really grown to love First Looks especially if the couple decides to read their vows to each other at that time. For many couples, this takes away the pressure of reading them out loud for the first time in front of their guests, if they even read them at al during the ceremony. I am now also very vocal about where the First Look takes place. I know that some couples have this magical moment in their heads, but truth be told, if they do it in the middle of a field in August, I’d going to be hot and sweaty. The lighting will also be very harsh and not flattering. I obviously , explain this when discussing locations with the couple. Most of the time, they hadn’t even considered these factors and are more than happy to change to a more preferable location. And, I realized, that the “wow factor” at the end of the aisle is still there.

Next, is the ever so coveted, “Unplugged Ceremony”. I’m not going to lie, Covid changed how I perceive family recording certain parts of the day. Honestly, if Aunt Jane wants to record the ceremony from her seat so a Grandmother who was too ill to attend can see it, let it happen. Let’s be real, the family members who were going to record certain parts of your day, will do it regardless of what your signage or Officiant has to say at the beginning of your wedding. Very rarely (only once) have I seen family members in the aisle, but this is just lack of common sense and selfishness. I just photographed it, as it is my job to document the day! No sign is going to change this behavior. Most attendants that I have seen taking pictures or video just simply raise their phone up from where they are sitting and don’t bother a single soul around them or are very aware of where I am and stay back a bit. Besides, its fun for me to grab a picture of their camera screen while they’re doing it so I can add it to your gallery. Now, guests that decide to use lighting for recording the dances….. that’s a different story for a different blog.

Before, I hit my next point, I want to say that I try really hard to get to know my couples before their wedding day and I am truly invested in making their wedding day as perfect as possible. With that said, I feel very, very strongly that the couple getting married should really do or NOT do whatever they want on their wedding day. Tradition or not. Prior to this year, I would have said that it’s a compromise, but recently, I have seen family members stress out my couples to the point of tears on their actual wedding day. That is unacceptable. I understand that some traditions have been around for ever, but some are outdated. No family member paying or not, has the right to try to make you feel uncomfortable on your wedding day. Seriously, I will die on this hill!

I could look back at this blog a year from now and wonder what I was thinking when I read this, but for now this is how I like to approach couple’s wedding days to make sure that I have their best interest in mind and am able to do my job well. Like I had said before, every couple os different and they need to do what is best for them. It’s just my job to document it!